No Guilt Allowed


Life is hard, no?  Looking at the news footage of recent events in the USA, tornadoes, earthquakes, hurricanes, it reminds me that we each get hit with storms – the storms of life.  Some of us live in a perpetual storm, of sorts.   Living with chronic, complex care needs is a storm, imho. If you are not currently feeding via blended meals, but hovering on the periphery considering it, please DO NOT FEEL GUILTY!  In my emails, my signature includes a quote from Lori Borgman.  I don’t know Lori but I like what she says:

“I even wonder how you endure schmaltzy pieces like this one — saluting you, painting you as hero and saint, when you know you’re ordinary. You snap, you bark, you bite. You didn’t volunteer for this. You didn’t jump up and down in the motherhood line yelling, “Choose me, God! Choose me! I’ve got what it takes.” You’re a woman who doesn’t have time to step back and put things in perspective, so, please, let me do it for you. From where I sit, you’re way ahead of the pack. You’ve developed the strength of a draft horse while holding onto the delicacy of a daffodil. You have a heart that melts like chocolate in a glove box in July, carefully counter-balanced against the stubbornness of an Ozark mule.”

So as you sit there wondering “if” you can do this blended meals thing, “if” you want to even undertake such a task, give yourself a break.  Your energy might be maxed out with what you are already doing.  Each of us can only do so much. If you need to, wait.  Or decline altogether.  And please, don’t feel guilty.  Please. There are storms enough, without giving ourselves a guilt storm.

“This man beside us also has a hard fight with an unfavouring world, with strong temptations, with doubts and fears, with wounds of the past which have skinned over, but which smart when they are touched. It is a fact, however surprising. And when this occurs to us we are moved to deal kindly with him, to bid him be of good cheer, to let him understand that we are also fighting a battle; we are bound not to irritate him, nor press hardly upon him nor help his lower self.” Rev. John Watson aka Ian McLaren.

Also quoted as:  “Let us be kind, one to another, for most of us are fighting a hard battle.

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Puttin’ on my blinders tomorrow. Looking straight ahead!


Clean the syringes, make the food, check the tubefeeding groups, journal, blog, doctor appointments, feeding schedule, life skills, anxiety management (hers not mine), nutrition, sensory exercises, loose teeth, transition to junior high…

the list goes on.

and on.

and on.

I’m tired of focusing on it, of managing it all.  Tomorrow I am taking the day off.  I just don’t want to think about ANY of this stuff.  Just for one day.

or maybe a week.