Fear: Just Like Riding a Bicycle


You never forget how to ride a bicycle. There is evidence of this in our neighborhood every Spring. Kids are everywhere on their bikes!

My nearly 80 year old mother still rides her bicycle. My Little Miss rides her bicycle and LOVES IT!! I would love to get photos of the two of them riding together. Little Miss’s bike still has training wheels – special oversized ones to accommodate the size of her big girl bike.  www.fatwheels.com

For me, fear is just like riding a bicycle. I never forget how!  To be afraid, that is. If I’m honest with myself, every day I start out afraid. I never know what a day will bring. Each of our many medical emergencies started out as ‘normal’ days.  So why wouldn’t I be afraid?

What am I afraid of?

  • What might happen
  • A repetition of what has happened in the past
  • The unknown
  • That I cannot control it

Ask any friend of mine and they’ll say, Yes Lynn does like to be in charge.  Well, I am in charge of this life with my special daughter. But I can only manage what I am in charge of, I cannot control it. That’s kind of the problem. I really really really want to control it and keep things from getting scary.

To cope with fear I mask it. I get busy. Distracted. Which doesn’t really help.  It just buries the fear temporarily. I am wasting days of my life, days of my kids’ lives, by being afraid. Years from now I do not want to hear my children say “You were always too busy for me.”

I have wasted so much time being afraid of things that never happened.

Fear is a choice. More accurately, unfear is a choice. A very conscious choice. Since fear is automatic, like remembering how to ride a bicycle, I must daily (and sometimes much more often) make a deliberate choice to enjoy today, and to not be afraid. There are no indicators thus far that today will be a day that turns bad. I am going to slow down and savor every moment of it.

Of course it’s only 7 a.m.

I’ll remind myself again in an hour.

04-09-2009

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